Other comm

julianna

'to make sure that these kinds of plans are successful in the future'

'this has happened before and I don't know how to communicate to you the routines we have with her and the importance to communicate with'

Hi Julianna, Peri let me hear your voice mail to her on the day of our trip to Cape Anne. I was sad to hear how stressed out you sounded and I am sorry if dealing with you mom's Alzheimer disease has been so hard on you.

Some things you said to Peri were troubling. Your 'make sure that these plans are successful in the future', and 'this has happened before' and 'I don't know how to communicate to you the importance of the routines you have with her' seemed a bit overreaching.

But let me digress with a personal story. My dad just kicked the bucket leaving my 87 year old mom on her own for the first time since she was like 23. Now I've got 7 siblings who I dearly love but even before my dad's ashes had cooled down there was a hue and cry from all of them about how she couldn't stay in the house, couldn't go the North Carolina for the winter, needed a 'I've fallen and I can't get up monthly service', shouldn't drive, couldn't go up the stairs anymore, should move into this institution in this daughters state, should sell the house yada yada yada. Everyone wanted to manage her, or not really wanted to, they just felt that they should.

I was with my mom and my sister Megan making the rounds of the funeral home, the Catholic church, the cemetery arranging all the details when my mom said, hold on guys, I want to take a detour here. She took us to the club where she plays golf. All the lady golfers were there and and my mom joined them. She introduced Megan and I but nobody was all that interested in who we were and they turned their attention to my mom. We sat on the side for forty minutes while they chatted about their golf games, their aches and pains, there dead or almost dead husbands. They talked about the weather, the winter, real estate, what they were going to do next and what their kids were pushing them to do instead.

I am happy that my mom has a group of friends she can hang out with. You should be happy your mom has friends that she can hang out with. You seem to have a very strained idea of a successful plan. Granted that is your right you can and should do what you think is right for your mom but don't be surprised that we differ. We are not part of your manage your mom program, we are just friends who love her. We were happy to be with our friend today and we love the things she noticed, her motivation to jump in for a swim behind Cranes, to just be chatting experiencing the present moment in Gloucester harbor.

By comparison your program for you mom often seems dreadful. The fake boring work at Rogerson house, the kowtowing to the agency and the curmudgeonly pick-up-from-Rogerson-house lady seems like nonsense; find someone happy to have a free hour every now and then. That Peri can't see her friend on Monday, can't walk her around the pond and then home all seems bizarre.

We ask that you try to leave some room in your mom management for her to spend time with her friends. We are happy to help her be sure to take her meds while we are together.

Dentist re: crown

617 524 4401

617 524 0938(h), 857 498 2574(m) tim@sitebuilt.net

You seemed kind of busy without time to discuss my treatment options. I did get an explanation from the receptionist that a crown was needed since now the tooth would be brittle. Somehow I am less than assuaged. My experience with crowns is periodontal disease, open margins, only lasting about 10 years with eventual extraction of 3/4 of the crowned teeth. All that chopping away to get a place for a post to sit seems very extreme, a waste of enamel.

1. What are my options?
2. Are there other possible treatments? stronger fillings? inlay/onlay?
3. Why not fill it see how it lasts for maybe 5-10 yrs? I think the tooth next to it was root canaled and filled about 25 years ago.
4. Are there things I could do to preserve it. I stopped chewing ice years ago, maybe I could stop eating nuts.
5. How bad is the down side? So I eventually break off a piece, couldn't I do the crown then?

My dental experience to date has been dismal. (What's left of) my teeth are terrible. I feel that some decisions that were foistered upon me by dentists were not really in my best interest. I would like to work with more of an informed consent. I need a well reasoned, cost effective plan. If you prefer not to have me as a patient, I am fine with that.

I live about a block away, I could come in to talk for a couple of minutes at your convenience. You can email me at tim@sitebuilt.net or call 617 524 0938(h), 857 498 2574(m).

Tim McKenna