Ari - Revision history

Tim: /* dog= */

2024-01-02T21:17:58Z

dog=

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:17, 2 January 2024
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	=Ari=		=Ari=

	==dog===		===Goldie dog===
	The crate should feel to her like a happy place, not a punishment otherwise she will always choose your bed over it. It would be best located in a kitchen or other place without couches, a whole room safe for her to roam. Ulysses was free to be anywhere in the kitchen and dining room until he got what made us happy (not being on the couch). Then, when she is in other rooms (which should also have dogbeds (one moveable one is OK) on the floor) and she causes you to feel unhappy you can escort her back to the kitchen (or whatever room) where the crate is.		The crate should feel to her like a happy place, not a punishment otherwise she will always choose your bed over it. It would be best located in a kitchen or other place without couches, a whole room safe for her to roam. Ulysses was free to be anywhere in the kitchen and dining room until he got what made us happy (not being on the couch). Then, when she is in other rooms (which should also have dogbeds (one moveable one is OK) on the floor) and she causes you to feel unhappy you can escort her back to the kitchen (or whatever room) where the crate is.

Tim at 19:18, 2 January 2024

2024-01-02T19:18:09Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 15:18, 2 January 2024
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	=Ari=		=Ari=

			==dog===
			The crate should feel to her like a happy place, not a punishment otherwise she will always choose your bed over it. It would be best located in a kitchen or other place without couches, a whole room safe for her to roam. Ulysses was free to be anywhere in the kitchen and dining room until he got what made us happy (not being on the couch). Then, when she is in other rooms (which should also have dogbeds (one moveable one is OK) on the floor) and she causes you to feel unhappy you can escort her back to the kitchen (or whatever room) where the crate is.

	{{:7940 48th Ave S}}		{{:7940 48th Ave S}}

Tim: /* season2 */

2019-02-16T23:19:05Z

season2

← Older revision		Revision as of 19:19, 16 February 2019
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	Rape, humping, sexist boys, sugar. eh.		Rape, humping, sexist boys, sugar. eh.

	I read the whole book into the recorder. A started faltering around 40 minutes into the last chapter. I was having trouble. What is all this peqwatt stuff and the carving on the bathroom stall? Do all the classmates suck? Do all kids suck? Was it the boring speakers fault? Do all humans suck? What purpose is this serving for the novel? I think a trip to Mystic as an awakening of young minds to the fucked up world that is framing their lives could work as its own short story. But here in the confusion of the love affair it just didn't come off.		I read the whole book into the recorder. A started faltering around 40 minutes into the last chapter. I was having trouble. What is all this peqwatt stuff and the carving on the bathroom stall? Do all the classmates suck? Do all kids suck? Was it the boring speakers fault? Do all humans suck? What purpose is this serving for the novel? I think a trip to Mystic as an awakening of young minds to the fucked up world that is framing their lives could work as its own short story. But here as the end of a season in the confusion of the love affair it just didn't come off.

	As for the love affair or discovering of Trotsky's anima or whatever it was. It was not delineated in a way that I could relate to. The reference to one finding their feminine side or anima was perhaps too true. Mari never became a person or a real character and remained more a figment of Trotsky's imagination ending as a ghost in the opposite corner of a room when they got back home. And Trotsky didn't really get in touch with another side of himself either. Is the fantasy of a girl a real girl?		As for the love affair or discovering of Trotsky's anima or whatever it was. It was not delineated in a way that I could relate to. The reference to one finding their feminine side or anima was perhaps too true. Mari never became a person or a real character and remained more a figment of Trotsky's imagination ending as a ghost in the opposite corner of a room when they got back home. And Trotsky didn't really get in touch with another side of himself either. Is the fantasy of a girl a real girl?

	So I guess I didn't like season 2 all that much. It felt trapped in its own construct of one season following another like a tv series on a timeline. The first book didn't get caught in that construct since there wasn't anything before and needn't be anything after. The constructs that it did use so well were constructs of space not time. The back yard, the back hall, the schoolyard, the nursing home/ ledge space. Those were great spaces within which to develop characters and the story. It succeeds on its own. I'd think about adding a couple of 'spaces' from season 2 back into season 1 and call that its own thing.		So I guess I didn't like season 2 all that much. It felt trapped in its own construct of one season following another like a tv series on a timeline. The first book didn't get caught in that construct since there wasn't anything before and needn't be anything after. The constructs that it did use so well were constructs of space not time. The back yard, the back hall, the schoolyard, the nursing home/ ledge space. Those were great spaces within which to develop characters and the story. It succeeds on its own. I'd think about adding a couple of 'spaces' from season 2 back into season 1 and call that its own thing.

Tim: /* season2 */

2019-02-16T23:16:54Z

season2

← Older revision		Revision as of 19:16, 16 February 2019
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	The Ms.Murray meetings with the powerful and un-powerful have their moments but they are smooshed together with Trotsky's conflicts and thereby are not left to really stand or their own or find a place in the tale.		The Ms.Murray meetings with the powerful and un-powerful have their moments but they are smooshed together with Trotsky's conflicts and thereby are not left to really stand or their own or find a place in the tale.

	The best part of the kill the man with the ball section was the name of the ball. It was worth exploring and maybe worth going back to but as it stands I don't think it ~~stands~~ metaphorically or otherwise. The fight scenes were a little better, though I thought they suffered by being framed out into analyzed prototypes. The best of it was some of the description of things spinning out of control, the 'empty fury' that you just can't stop or 'instigated by…unknown, perhaps they took turns.... these normative, cathartic scraps' The descriptions felt beyond third person and made me wish for some first person.		The best part of the kill the man with the ball section was the name of the ball. It was worth exploring and maybe worth going back to but as it stands I don't think it holds up metaphorically or otherwise. The fight scenes were a little better, though I thought they suffered by being framed out into analyzed prototypes. The best of it was some of the description of things spinning out of control, the 'empty fury' that you just can't stop or 'instigated by…unknown, perhaps they took turns.... these normative, cathartic scraps' The descriptions felt beyond third person and made me wish for some first person.

	I liked the vacation chapter, it was a nice story, a fitting wrapper for the end of the butt.		I liked the vacation chapter, it was a nice story, a fitting wrapper for the end of the butt.

Tim: /* review */

2019-02-16T23:15:00Z

review

← Older revision		Revision as of 19:15, 16 February 2019
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	I aplogize for my shitty job at editing and reading. It is a a proof of concept and I think should be done.		I aplogize for my shitty job at editing and reading. It is a a proof of concept and I think should be done.

			I miss Paris and the power of friendship as a way to navigate the world and get subjected to its travails.

			Writing of the magical moments of the light being just right and the play being inspired didn't carry over so much to adolescence. Could it have?

	=====season2=====		=====season2=====

Tim: /* season2 */

2019-02-16T23:14:35Z

season2

← Older revision		Revision as of 19:14, 16 February 2019
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	=====season2=====		=====season2=====
	~~I miss Paris and the power of friendship as a way to navigate the world and get subjected to its travails.~~

	~~Writing of the magical moments of the light being just right and the play being inspired didn't carry over so much to adolescence. Could it have?~~

	I find myself un-grounded in reading the second season. There is a certain satisfaction and symmetry in the first two chapters. The wolf reminds us of the older boys who pulled down the fort and his defeat feels OK but maybe a little bit too easy for our heroes. I start to fear for the future of Paris as he 'crosses division' to the market. There is a nice interplay between the forces represented by the clerk and the cop up against the Cassie and the women of the salon. So now our young heroes are walking home on their own. As their paths home diverge it feels like an ending.		I find myself un-grounded in reading the second season. There is a certain satisfaction and symmetry in the first two chapters. The wolf reminds us of the older boys who pulled down the fort and his defeat feels OK but maybe a little bit too easy for our heroes. I start to fear for the future of Paris as he 'crosses division' to the market. There is a nice interplay between the forces represented by the clerk and the cop up against the Cassie and the women of the salon. So now our young heroes are walking home on their own. As their paths home diverge it feels like an ending.

Tim: /* season2 */

2019-02-16T23:13:13Z

season2

← Older revision		Revision as of 19:13, 16 February 2019
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	Writing of the magical moments of the light being just right and the play being inspired didn't carry over so much to adolescence. Could it have?		Writing of the magical moments of the light being just right and the play being inspired didn't carry over so much to adolescence. Could it have?

	I find myself un-grounded in reading the second season. There is a certain satisfaction and symmetry in the first two chapters. The wolf reminds us of the boys who pulled down the fort and his defeat feels OK but maybe a little bit too easy for our heroes. I start to fear for the future of Paris as he 'crosses division' to the market. There is a nice interplay between the forces represented by the clerk and the cop up against the Cassie and the women of the salon. So now our young heroes are walking home on their own. As their paths home diverge it feels like an ending.		I find myself un-grounded in reading the second season. There is a certain satisfaction and symmetry in the first two chapters. The wolf reminds us of the older boys who pulled down the fort and his defeat feels OK but maybe a little bit too easy for our heroes. I start to fear for the future of Paris as he 'crosses division' to the market. There is a nice interplay between the forces represented by the clerk and the cop up against the Cassie and the women of the salon. So now our young heroes are walking home on their own. As their paths home diverge it feels like an ending.

	Then we are on to the atm school. The struggles there fail to coalesce for me beyond the the very surface meaning. Trotsky's spaced out reveries and the blown open window had me thinking of the horror film genre where the disaffected child becomes possessed by the devil and can move matter with his mind. Whether he is livid (furiously angry) or 'in a sort of a tedious bliss' this epiphany seems false. I'm not sure that I care much for this kid who is 'beginning to show a sedated grin, expecting his prompter to gift an eventuality'. I am not sure what that ~~even~~ means.		Then we are on to the atm school. The struggles there fail to coalesce for me beyond the the very surface meaning. Trotsky's spaced out reveries and the blown open window had me thinking of the horror film genre where the disaffected child becomes possessed by the devil and can move matter with his mind. Whether he is livid (furiously angry) or 'in a sort of a tedious bliss' this epiphany seems false. I'm not sure that I care much for this kid who is 'beginning to show a sedated grin, expecting his prompter to gift an eventuality'. I am not sure I even know what that means.

	The Ms.Murray meetings with the powerful and un-powerful have their moments but they are smooshed together with Trotsky's conflicts and thereby are not left to really stand or their own or find a place in the tale.		The Ms.Murray meetings with the powerful and un-powerful have their moments but they are smooshed together with Trotsky's conflicts and thereby are not left to really stand or their own or find a place in the tale.

	The best part of the kill the man with the ball section was the name of the ball. It was worth exploring and maybe worth going back to but as it stands I don't think it stands metaphorically or otherwise. The fight scenes were a little better though I thought they suffered by being framed out into analyzed prototypes. The best of it was some of the description of things spinning out of control, the 'empty fury' that you just can't stop or 'instigated by…unknown, perhaps they took turns.... these normative, cathartic scraps'		The best part of the kill the man with the ball section was the name of the ball. It was worth exploring and maybe worth going back to but as it stands I don't think it stands metaphorically or otherwise. The fight scenes were a little better, though I thought they suffered by being framed out into analyzed prototypes. The best of it was some of the description of things spinning out of control, the 'empty fury' that you just can't stop or 'instigated by…unknown, perhaps they took turns.... these normative, cathartic scraps' The descriptions felt beyond third person and made me wish for some first person.

	I liked the vacation chapter, it was a nice story, a fitting wrapper for the end of the butt.		I liked the vacation chapter, it was a nice story, a fitting wrapper for the end of the butt.
Line 130:		Line 130:
	I read the whole book into the recorder. A started faltering around 40 minutes into the last chapter. I was having trouble. What is all this peqwatt stuff and the carving on the bathroom stall? Do all the classmates suck? Do all kids suck? Was it the boring speakers fault? Do all humans suck? What purpose is this serving for the novel? I think a trip to Mystic as an awakening of young minds to the fucked up world that is framing their lives could work as its own short story. But here in the confusion of the love affair it just didn't come off.		I read the whole book into the recorder. A started faltering around 40 minutes into the last chapter. I was having trouble. What is all this peqwatt stuff and the carving on the bathroom stall? Do all the classmates suck? Do all kids suck? Was it the boring speakers fault? Do all humans suck? What purpose is this serving for the novel? I think a trip to Mystic as an awakening of young minds to the fucked up world that is framing their lives could work as its own short story. But here in the confusion of the love affair it just didn't come off.

	As for the love affair or discovering of Trotsky's anima or whatever ~~it was~~ it was. It was not delineated in a way that I could relate to. The reference to one finding their feminine side or anima was perhaps too true. Mari never became a person, a real character and remained more a figment of Trotsky's imagination ending as a ghost in the opposite corner of ~~the~~ room. And Trotsky didn't really get in touch with another side of himself either. Is the fantasy of a girl a real girl?		As for the love affair or discovering of Trotsky's anima or whatever it was. It was not delineated in a way that I could relate to. The reference to one finding their feminine side or anima was perhaps too true. Mari never became a person or a real character and remained more a figment of Trotsky's imagination ending as a ghost in the opposite corner of a room when they got back home. And Trotsky didn't really get in touch with another side of himself either. Is the fantasy of a girl a real girl?

	So I guess I didn't like season 2 all that much. It felt trapped in its own construct of one season following another like a tv series on a timeline. The first book didn't get caught in that construct since there wasn't anything before and needn't be anything after. The constructs that it did use so well were constructs of space not time. The back yard, the back hall, the schoolyard, the nursing home/ ledge space. Those were great spaces within which to develop characters and the story. It succeeds on its own. I'd think about adding a couple of 'spaces' from season 2 back into season 1 and call that its own thing.		So I guess I didn't like season 2 all that much. It felt trapped in its own construct of one season following another like a tv series on a timeline. The first book didn't get caught in that construct since there wasn't anything before and needn't be anything after. The constructs that it did use so well were constructs of space not time. The back yard, the back hall, the schoolyard, the nursing home/ ledge space. Those were great spaces within which to develop characters and the story. It succeeds on its own. I'd think about adding a couple of 'spaces' from season 2 back into season 1 and call that its own thing.

Tim: /* season2 */

2019-02-16T22:59:22Z

season2

← Older revision		Revision as of 18:59, 16 February 2019
Line 132:		Line 132:
	As for the love affair or discovering of Trotsky's anima or whatever it was it was. It was not delineated in a way that I could relate to. The reference to one finding their feminine side or anima was perhaps too true. Mari never became a person, a real character and remained more a figment of Trotsky's imagination ending as a ghost in the opposite corner of the room. And Trotsky didn't really get in touch with another side of himself either. Is the fantasy of a girl a real girl?		As for the love affair or discovering of Trotsky's anima or whatever it was it was. It was not delineated in a way that I could relate to. The reference to one finding their feminine side or anima was perhaps too true. Mari never became a person, a real character and remained more a figment of Trotsky's imagination ending as a ghost in the opposite corner of the room. And Trotsky didn't really get in touch with another side of himself either. Is the fantasy of a girl a real girl?

	So I guess I didn't like season 2 all that much. It felt trapped in its own construct o		So I guess I didn't like season 2 all that much. It felt trapped in its own construct of one season following another like a tv series on a timeline. The first book didn't get caught in that construct since there wasn't anything before and needn't be anything after. The constructs that it did use so well were constructs of space not time. The back yard, the back hall, the schoolyard, the nursing home/ ledge space. Those were great spaces within which to develop characters and the story. It succeeds on its own. I'd think about adding a couple of 'spaces' from season 2 back into season 1 and call that its own thing.

Tim: /* season2 */

2019-02-16T22:51:25Z

season2

← Older revision		Revision as of 18:51, 16 February 2019
Line 119:		Line 119:

	The best part of the kill the man with the ball section was the name of the ball. It was worth exploring and maybe worth going back to but as it stands I don't think it stands metaphorically or otherwise. The fight scenes were a little better though I thought they suffered by being framed out into analyzed prototypes. The best of it was some of the description of things spinning out of control, the 'empty fury' that you just can't stop or 'instigated by…unknown, perhaps they took turns.... these normative, cathartic scraps'		The best part of the kill the man with the ball section was the name of the ball. It was worth exploring and maybe worth going back to but as it stands I don't think it stands metaphorically or otherwise. The fight scenes were a little better though I thought they suffered by being framed out into analyzed prototypes. The best of it was some of the description of things spinning out of control, the 'empty fury' that you just can't stop or 'instigated by…unknown, perhaps they took turns.... these normative, cathartic scraps'

			I liked the vacation chapter, it was a nice story, a fitting wrapper for the end of the butt.

			By far the strongest piece in the book is 'the local blueprint distorted, when the proving ground elevates'. This, to me was really nicely written; a young adult story that transcends its genre. An argument could be made that a season 2 could be framed by this chainlink container.

			Swath? What's that? Stand in for 'the hub', 'the east coast'? I don't really like the word.

			Rape, humping, sexist boys, sugar. eh.

			I read the whole book into the recorder. A started faltering around 40 minutes into the last chapter. I was having trouble. What is all this peqwatt stuff and the carving on the bathroom stall? Do all the classmates suck? Do all kids suck? Was it the boring speakers fault? Do all humans suck? What purpose is this serving for the novel? I think a trip to Mystic as an awakening of young minds to the fucked up world that is framing their lives could work as its own short story. But here in the confusion of the love affair it just didn't come off.

			As for the love affair or discovering of Trotsky's anima or whatever it was it was. It was not delineated in a way that I could relate to. The reference to one finding their feminine side or anima was perhaps too true. Mari never became a person, a real character and remained more a figment of Trotsky's imagination ending as a ghost in the opposite corner of the room. And Trotsky didn't really get in touch with another side of himself either. Is the fantasy of a girl a real girl?

			So I guess I didn't like season 2 all that much. It felt trapped in its own construct o

Tim: /* season2 */

2019-02-16T22:10:41Z

season2

← Older revision		Revision as of 18:10, 16 February 2019
Line 118:		Line 118:
	The Ms.Murray meetings with the powerful and un-powerful have their moments but they are smooshed together with Trotsky's conflicts and thereby are not left to really stand or their own or find a place in the tale.		The Ms.Murray meetings with the powerful and un-powerful have their moments but they are smooshed together with Trotsky's conflicts and thereby are not left to really stand or their own or find a place in the tale.

	The best part of the kill the man with the ball section was the name of the ball. It was worth exploring and maybe worth going back to but as it stands I don't think it stands metaphorically or otherwise. The fight scenes were a little better though I thought they suffered by being framed out into analyzed prototypes. The best of it was some of the description of things spinning out of control, the 'empty fury' that you just can't stop. ~~There was something interesting too abo~~		The best part of the kill the man with the ball section was the name of the ball. It was worth exploring and maybe worth going back to but as it stands I don't think it stands metaphorically or otherwise. The fight scenes were a little better though I thought they suffered by being framed out into analyzed prototypes. The best of it was some of the description of things spinning out of control, the 'empty fury' that you just can't stop or 'instigated by…unknown, perhaps they took turns.... these normative, cathartic scraps'